Rock On

One of the rare movies that are predictable, yet watchable - and how ! Didn't all of us know that the movie is going to be about 4 guys who form a band, then probably split-up due to some inconsequential reasons, if happy ending prevails, then become a band again! And that is PRECISELY the story of Rock On !
However, the tale is told in a crisp, matter-of-factly manner which is appealing. Farhan Akhtar the lead singer of magik(yeah thats the band name, very innovative one would say)has not been gifted by a powerful voice, but in order to eat the ultimate rockstar pie and realzing his teenage fantasy, he projects HIMSELF as the singer ! That's lame. A bit juvenile too. Though surprisingly most of the tunes are catchy despite Farhan's ghastly voice ! Arjun Rampal is the true hero by the way. Subtle and intense. Poorab Kohli is instantly likeable. Luke Kenny is awkward and gawky, apparently he was delirious that he finally got to be in a movie ! The girls were alright, though Farhan should've stuck to his first girl friend, she was cooler and cuter than Prachi Desai. No offense Prachi, what's true is true.
The whole atmosphere of the movie is that of a rock concert, only better because you get to do your thing sitting down on comfy chairs !
Rock On gets 5 out of 10 from me !

Bachna Aye Haseeno

A full-fledged treat of a film after a really long time. Few months of crappy cinema is like a drought of a lifetime !

Bachna is a modern saga of a man's journey from boyhood to maturehood, wherein he comes across mainly three women of different shapes, sizes, colors and genres ! Ranbir the teenager runs into Minisha (who looked so shockingly old as a 16 year old that even if she was paired with Ranbir in the later years of his life, she would've passed off as his elder sister!). Ranbir the new-age executive then dates Bipasha. She was a pleasant surprise. One expected HER to be the old-hag but she looked stunning, cynical yes, but stunning! To boot, Ranbir-Bipasha had a steamy chemistry ! Especially in the elevator scene, where you could slice the sexual tension with a knife ! Finally the real life babe enters the reel life, Deepika the taxi-driver and a part-time MBA student. Snappy, smart and composed. It's a story of Karmas, how good reaps good and bad comes and messes you up.

Engaging dialogues and cinematography. Fantastic bodies and clothes. Near-smooth direction.

The positives should've taken the film to perfection (!)had it not been for the faux-pas, as we say.

Minisha, the 1992, girl friend is doting - harem pants ! The director and the stylist completely ignored the finer points, this is just ONE example - 2008 trend in 1992!! Post break the movie breaks down ! Why o why?! Why do Indian directors love to dwell on the most uninteresting junctures?! Infact, 'dwelling' is like a 'swelling' - it can damage a brilliant scene too!

Bachna Aye Haseeno deserves 6 on 10 from me !

Singh is Kinng

The title is in English, the least you expect is a Hindi film. By Jove, the movie turns out to be in regional language !! If you don't know punjabi very well, you'd be exhausted by interval itself...phew !
From the moment it kickstarts, and believe me - there's a lot of meaningless kicking around right from the start, you keep waiting for the best hilarious scenes to drive you crazy ! All you get is a meagre string of funny stuff and that too from Javed Jaffery and Om Puri (NOT Akki Singh!).

Happy Singh(Akshay Kumar) is a handsome sardar in a village helping folks out, by catching their chickens on the terraces, dancing in their weddings et al. The Village Chief is SO darn impressed by his humanitarian deeds that he decides to sponsor him to go to Australia. His task is to find another sardar Lucky Singh(Sonu Sood), who's a Don now in the foreign land and bring him back to the pind (meaning village ! Picked up some punjabi while watching the movie!). Why? Dont really know, its probably some ailing relatives that werent shown and referred to, in the movie at all. Anyhow, Akki detours to Egypt for some godforsaken reason (I think it was to sing a song with katrina Kaif near the pyramids), reaches Oz. As circumastances and forced situations would have it, he has to take on the role of the Don, he reforms the Don's employees, wins over the Kat woman somehow wherein she eazily dumps poor ranvir Shourie and they all live in la la land happily ever after ! No plot, No story and clearly No coordination.
Gets a 3 on 10 from me!

Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na

The title is actually an ominous warning - not many realize it though..alas ! Do you know or not what you're getting into? Actually there are bright chances of you having a good time in the movie because of the great music album that Mr.A.R.Rehman has cut out of this film. You may also fancy the kind-of cute and natural Imran Khan. I'm scratching my head to come up with a few more positives before I start ripping the movie apart ! Okay nothing ! Very done-to-death plot. Friends falling in love without realizing they have hots for each other (yawn yawn). In an attempt to make a cool youthful movie, the makers have a juvenile piece at their hand. The girl in the movie has a bad diction (yeah worse than Katrina!), irritating personality and zero spark. The gang of friends is the most boring group ever...yeah boring friends exist! But who spends money to go watch them in the theatre as well?! Guest appearances of Sohail Khan and Arbaaz Khan, Nasseruddin and Ratna Pathak duo, believable and charming Imran and catchy tunes fetch points for this one so all in all...
4 out of 10 ! (With a heavy heart!)

Aamir

Good for Rajeev Khandelwal ! First bollywood assignment for a TV star, that too - every frame dedicated to him. Bonus is ofcourse an off-beat treatment to the movie. Aamir is an Indian Doctor practising in UK, lands on the Indian airport for good (actually for bad, as it turns out!). His plans consist of finally settling down with his mother and multiple siblings in mumbai and managing his bread and butter in motherland. Obviously these plans get dashed right from the moment he steps out of the aerodrome with his trolley full of imported gifts for his kith and kin. He's psychologized into participating in a bomb blast. An emotional war, physical torture and confusing religious beliefs DO end in a blast ! So does the movie, and unarguably there is a sense of loss that prevails. Downside, scenes drag and dwell too much on repetitive situations, so thats double trouble. However..
Aamir does get a 5 on 10 from me.

Tashan

Tashan is a freaky squeaky ride, and freaky is good until it begins to squeak right after the breaktime. The whole hoopla about make-overs of the cast and crew turned out to be just that - hoopla : no great shakes. Story, on the other hand is quite shaky ! Characters (and hence actors) underutilized. Long noisy action sequences with 12000 bullet sounds. And the impatience of the film-maker becomes very obvious in the rush to wrap up the plot abruptly.
Saif's your regular saif, which means he's the same in every movie - cool, english speaking, slick and shallow guy (barring occasional omkaras of the world). The fact that he can portray these roles with such accuracy makes me believe more in the fact that it must come from within rather than his acting skills! Kareena is zero size and puts all jolly-bellied people to shame. She has flaunted her thin frame more than her regular hall of fame - acting ! Strangely her new avatar makes her look like Beavis and Butthead, really huge face and a tinny-minny body. Akshay is funny and good looking. Anil Kapoor is funny and not-good looking plus a tad loud here and there. Rest is immaterial because there isn't any material in the film.
It's a story of treason and revenge woven around gangsters, money and true love finding its way towards the end. Now the good stuff to ensure the aftertaste. The movie manages to make you grin amply, tashni characters, wicked are the songs and their locations. Grungy title track inspires you to have atleast some tashan in life, clearly the highest point of the movie. One must also appreciate the cinematography and camera angles, infact they contribute hugely to the freaky, mad and irreverent feel of the flick.Is watchable ? Why not..visual pleasure is guaranteed !
Tashan gets 5 out of 10 from me.

Krazzy 4

Everything's wrong with Krazzy 4 starting from the spelling ! The good stuff has already been aired in the promos - Sizzling Sawant item, 4 funny-liners of the flick, SRK's presence and Red-hot Hrithik. So no need to check out the remaining stuff because it's simply not worth it. The story is about 4 crazy people who step out of their asylum for the first time and all hell breaks loose. The lady psychiatrist riding them out of the hospital to watch a cricket match gets kidnapped on the way by her own husband for some godforsaken political motives which are extremely ulterior supposedly! Obviously one doesnt expect intelligent stuff from Krazzy 4 but atleast funny? Nossir ! Throughout the film you see your 500 rupee notes being torn into really tiny pieces and that pretty much makes you realize that it's not a pretty picture at all. Rajpal yadav is usually so loud and garish that his underplay seemed tolerable in the movie. Arshad, Irrfan and Menon are totally underutilized. Once-upon-a-time-charming Juhi looks haggard and worn-out. Humph ! Krazzy 4 is most certainly the Kaala feather in Rakesh Roshan's cap. Grrrrr!Krazzy 4 gets 3 out of 10 from me.

Race

Race has a lot of pace and obviously more than one race. Clean, glamorous and stylized flick. Considering how challenging it can be to film slick action scenes and not make them look preposterous, Race managed to pass with flying colors ! With lot of flying cars, human beings and plans. The movie is a mesh of plots, theres a plot in a plot in a plot in a plot and wait..another plot in a plot and finally the plot thats got a mini back-up plan ! They just keep booming into your face by the minute. Precisely, the negative of the movie as well. Unexpected and upredictable plots spin your head for a while but when the plans are thrown at you, by bucketsful, they become less exciting and you guessed it...predictable ! The chase (race) is for 200 million dollars to be made in an insurance scam, set in South Africa. Gorgeous lifestyle, designer wear and lots of thorough-bred stallions (horses AND men!). A couple of mal-direction points like punjabi boys having a church wedding (why?! nothing wrong in a church wedding but so out-of-pretext?!), Saif flying down a building like superman to save the damsel in distress (how?! Or else, show that besides money, women and power Saif had some super powers to boot!) You may advocate the scene by saying our desi heroes have been flying around like superheroes since forever - so whats so objectionable in this scene?! Okay go and check out the scene.. the dive is so stupid that you gotta see it to believe me!)Anil Kapoor is the corrupt yet smart cop sniffing around the scam. He has great potential as a comedien.Race gets 6 out of 10 from me.

One Two Three

The movie is funny. If funny is giving you a stupid grin for most of the film-duration, if funny is anything goofy even if not terribly witty and certainly so, if you can think of more than 5 scenes that crack you up while you're recounting them to your friends much later! Three guys by the same name, laxminarayan (who keeps these names anymore?! Well they come in different sizes, shapes and age groups LN the Paresh 55, LN the Shetty 40, LN the Tushaar 25). Lots of confusion and communication gaps because all 3 end up in the same hotel and unknowingly contribute their own life stories to the drama! I've noticed confusion always works! It is the key to making a comedy, right from the days of angoor, golmaal till the latest riot1,2,3. The villains are the funniest. Sameera and Esha look tasty. Upen and Tanisha are the worst pinwheels in the machine. Drop them and you got great stuff on your hand. Raghav Sachar has pleasantly surprised all of us with his catchy music. Phenomenal progress since the days when he almost died when he was asked to sing a line on radio and the RJ literally had to arrange for glucon-D to revive him ! (Personal experience..couldnt help mentioning it:). The film drags a little-bit post intermission but the director manages to get the train back on the track towards the 3/4ths and we're still in laughing business.One Two Three certainly deserves a better rating than it's title!Gets a 6 out of 10 from me.

American Idol 2008

After a few years EVERYTHING becomes predictable and boring, if conscious efforts aren't put into re-invention. Such is the story of American Idol, in a nutshell. However, let's give due credit to the young blood that spills itself on the grand (yet trite!) stage of American Idol every year. Performers this year are far from exciting and hardly charming. Barring David the Rocker, Jason the lounger, Brooke the pianist and Michael the Aussie ! I find myself taking frequent snack trips to the kitchen, attending nature's calls liberally and switching channels during the show. Need I say more? Oh yeah, the proverbial Judges! Out of Randy, Paula and Simon - the only tolerable fellar is Randy the Dog! Paula is known to be speech-impaired and brainless, well the brain department is consistent- she's as mindless as ever, though her speech has only woresened - the woman can't even deliver one sentence properly, and mind you the sentence is only three words "that....was.....soulful...."! Simon's candid and merciless coments only evoke yawns (I must mention that I used to like him the best once upon a time!). Randy was normal earlier on, he still is - so apparently normal is in! We all have our favorite contestents, I do too. I hope Michael wins because he's the oldest! Comparatively that is! Otherwise, 29 is also a jealousy instigating number!American Idol(latest season) gets a 5 out of 10 from me.p.s. 1 full point is for the host Ryan Seacrest and about half a point for his signature "THIS....................is American Idol"

Rambo 4

For a non-Rambo-Rocky person too, I'd say Rambo 4 does manage to captivate the audience. So it obviously is a treat for Stallone lovers. Sylvester Stallone looks very impressivley shaped up for his age (62!). John Rambo is a man of few words because he can afford to, his actions speak so loud and clear that you're on the edge of your seat. He saves a bunch of Christian peacemakers from the wrath of Burmese army. Yes, thats the story. But the trail is so gory that I really felt nauseous in one or two sequences. I'd only heard about this effect of watching violence but now I know it exists. However, the pace and direction make up for those atrocious scenes, which I believe a typical Rambo lover looks forward to. So Rambo pretty much delivers what he is expected to. One dialogue that stayed with me, obviously voiced by our hero John Rambo "We live for nothing but die for something!" One dialogue that stayed with John Rambo, voiced by one of the missionary girls,"You've been living here in the woods for 25 years, don't you wonder what happened to your father back in America?" So t'wards the end of the movie after killing about a million evil soldiers and saving a lot of lives, Rambo says goodbye to his pre-historic lifestyle in the jungles of Burma, and goes back to Colorado (say it with a twang please).Rambo 4 gets a 7 out of 10 from me.